Birthmother Letter Jewel's Site More Pictures (<==updated 2/17/2003!!!)
Here is Joshua's story, as told by his mom: We met Samantha, Joshua's birthmom, by e-mail about three weeks before he was born. Samantha had looked at waiting adoptive parents' letters on the Internet and wanted to talk to Paul and I and one other couple. After talking with both couples, she decided that she wanted to work with us. We had a conference call match meeting on Friday, May 3. We felt very comfortable with Samantha and Joseph (Joshua's birthdad) after speaking with them on the phone.
According to Samantha's doctor, Samantha was due between May 10 and May 16, so we packed up the truck and left for Columbia, Missouri on Saturday, May 11. We arrived on Mother's day, May 12. We met Samantha and Joe and Samantha's two daughters on Monday, May 13. Right from the start, Samantha's youngest daughter climbed into my lap and we became immediate best buddies. (She also looks remarkably like I did at that age!) We all went to dinner together at a Chinese buffet restaurant.
The next couple of days were strange. We could not reach Samantha on the phone and she was not feeling well. Also, the baby did not seem at all anxious to make his way into the world. By Wednesday, we were on pins and needles. Would this work out or would this be another dip on the roller coaster ride this adoption journey has seemed like?
We received word on Thursday morning that Samantha had gone in for a doctor's appointment, and that they were going to induce labor. We waited anxiously for the call to come to the hospital. At last, around 5pm, Joe called and said that we should come to the hospital.
When we arrived, Samantha and Joe asked us to wait in the waiting room for a few minutes, which seemed like they stretched into hours. We also learned that they had asked for the adoption counselor to come in to the hospital to talk with them about their decision. They had learned only that afternoon on ultrasound that the baby was going to be a boy. Everyone had been geared up for the birth of a baby girl, and it was a complete surprise to everyone that he was going to be a boy. Samantha and Joe were a little uncertain about their decision in light of the new information. They spoke with Marie, the counselor, while Samantha was going through labor and they reaffirmed that their reasons for wanting to place the baby for adoption were still valid and important reasons.
Minutes later, the labor and delivery nurse told me that Samantha wanted me to come into the delivery room. Samantha said "I need you" and took my hand. She had 4-5 contractions within the space of about 10 minutes, and said she was ready to deliver this baby. The midwife checked and, sure enough, she WAS ready to deliver! Samantha wanted to deliver Joshua in one push, but it turned out to be three or four. I watched him come into this world and, let me tell you, as anyone who has witnessed this miracle, it is an experience that I will never forget. Joshua Benjamin arrived in this world on Thursday, May 16 at 9:27 pm, weighing in at 9 pounds 8 ounces!
I was paying attention to how Samantha was doing while they cleaned Joshua up from his birth and put him on a heating table. Since he was almost a week post-term, there was not a lot of room and his hands and feet were blue at first. I went and held his little hands and looked into his little eyes. It was the most amazing thing.
I went to tell Paul and Marie, who were still in the waiting room, the news. Its a big boy! We spent the next several hours with Samantha and Joe. Paul went back to the hotel to sleep and I spent the night with Samantha and baby Joshua. I even gave him his first feeding.
On Friday, we spent the day with Samantha and the baby. Samantha's family came to the hospital. The girls got to hold the baby. I felt sad when Samantha's three year old asked mommy why they weren't taking the baby home. Samantha was discharged on Friday. That night, they moved the baby into a room in their pediatrics ward, where I was able to stay with him and care for him while the relinquishment period was going by.
On Sunday, Samantha and Joe signed relinquishment forms. On Monday, we went to Court and it became official -- Paul and I have official custody of Joshua Benjamin, pending the finalization of his adoption which will take place in December.
A brief note for the other waiting adoptive parents at IAC: This was our fifth match with a birthmom. After three years of the roller-coaster of disappointments and heartache, I can tell you from first hand experience, it is worth the wait. It is worth the emotional pain. When you have your baby, all of the waiting and wondering is gone and you are alone with this little miracle. And it is a miracle unlike anything I can possibly describe in words. I'm completely in love with my new little man.